Offline Digital Citizenship: Soft Skills to Support Strong Online Habits

When we talk about digital citizenship, we're usually referring to on-screen activities. That makes sense! But what we sometimes leave out of those discussions are the off-screen "soft" skills and strategies that kids need. These are essential to be mindful critical thinkers who can connect with others in person, make solid decisions about online behavior, discern valid information, and find media balance.

At this point in our screen-saturated lives, we're often hyper-stimulated and overwhelmed with information. And that gives us fewer opportunities to develop what some experts call "cognitive patience." The ability to not only take in information but also deeply engage with it, contemplate, reflect, and synthesize isn't usually fostered by digital life. We have to develop these soft skills elsewhere and do it intentionally.

Cultivating these skills can definitely reinforce digital citizenship. For example, some kids pick up a device to cope with anxiety or boredom, so learning how to recognize and work with those feelings in other ways can help. Also, digital drama can often be defused by an in-person conversation: If those feel hard, it might help to reinforce some face-to-face social skills. By building off-screen strategies like these, we can help students round out their digital citizenship practice.

For each topic area below, you'll find some combination of lessons, activities, and lists of tools to help address these soft skills at the underbelly of digital citizenship.

Media Balance & Well-Being: Pausing Before Picking Up the Device

One of the biggest flip sides to digital citizenship is the off-screen element of Media Balance & Well-Being. Being able to resist the siren call of notifications, pick up a book instead of scroll, and funnel that need for belonging and affirmation into other activities are all ways we can find that balance. Being mindful of why we want to use a device, open a particular app, or continue to watch/scroll/play is essential to finding balance with off-screen activities—plus it's a great life skill! If kids can use media and technology intentionally and know other ways to deal with uncomfortable feelings, it not only helps their digital citizenship skills, but also boosts their overall well-being.

Here are specific lessons, lists, and activities to address these skills:

• Positive Tech Habits (grades 6–8) and Tech Habit Challenge (grades 9–12) explore the "why" of device use and challenge kids to reflect on the reasons they use media and tech.
• Mindfulness apps and sites offer accessible ways for kids to practice active listening, calm breathing, and being comfortable with stillness and quiet.
• Health and fitness apps and sites give students an outlet for restlessness and anxiety.

• Activity idea: We often pick up our devices to avoid anxiety or boredom, or as a default activity. So it's helpful to know what those feelings feel like so we can identify them—and aim for alternative activities that will engage our brains in different ways that are more likely to increase well-being. Have students imagine a common time when they pick up their phones: What's the feeling just before picking it up? What are three other things you can do in those moments? You can also pose a challenge to students to practice sitting quietly for three minutes, then five, etc., and write about what it feels like. 

  Full lesson collections:

• All Media Balance lessons
• All Digital Well-Being lessons for grades 6–8
• All Digital Well-Being lessons for grades 9–12

Relationships & Communication: Finding Connection Face to Face

Once we were able to have school in person again, after the peak pandemic, teachers reported that kids' social skills were suffering. It's unclear how deep the impact of online school goes, but practicing maskless face-to-face interactions is helpful to students no matter the situation! Pandemic aside, because we all communicate via screens so often, the value of in-person communication can get lost. It's worth examining the differences between the two and encouraging classroom interactions (with explicit guidance, if necessary) and a sense of in-person belonging.

Here are specific lessons, lists, and activities to address these skills:

• This activity has kids reflect on the key differences between in-person and digital communication. It's designed for families to do together, but it's easily adapted for classrooms!
• Device-Free Dinner activities are a great way to encourage communication and connection. Pass along these ideas for elementary, middle, and high school students.
• Tools for social and emotional skills and apps and sites that help bolster social skills can help kids who are struggling with face-to-face communication.
• Activity idea: As a class, brainstorm scenarios in which in-person social skills are super important. If helpful, have students role-play to practice those interactions. You can also have students reflect on one in-person interaction that brightened their day, or one they initiated to brighten someone else's day.

Full lesson collection:

• All Relationships & Communication lessons

Cyberbullying, Digital Drama & Hate Speech: Prioritize In-Person

Another benefit of practicing face-to-face communication is that it can defuse digital drama. Though extreme cyberbullying isn't always something you can "talk through," there are instances in which an Instagram post incites a conflict that blows up through comments and cross-posts. And sometimes people create angry posts to create drama (and earn likes/followers). We aren't going to prevent every instance of this, but we can give kids conflict-resolution skills and show them how face-to-face conversations feel different than online ones. While texting often feels easier, kids need to understand our need for offline connection and the clarity that comes with tone of voice, eye contact, and body language.

Here are specific lessons, lists, and activities to address these skills:

• Digital Drama Unplugged encourages kids to think about how to de-escalate online conflicts.
• The My Social Media Life lesson has kids examine a scenario that could lead to hurt feelings and conflict, and asks them to determine the best way to resolve it.
• Activity idea: Have students jot down a real-life or imagined scenario that did or could lead to digital drama. Through think-pair-share or role-plays, have students think through the ways in which online communication could escalate the drama vs. how in-person could de-escalate (and acknowledge that there may be times when people need to calm down before seeing each other in person).

Full lesson collection:

• All Cyberbullying, Digital Drama & Hate Speech lessons

News & Media Literacy: Break Out of the Bubble

Many of us—including kids—get our news from social media. As a part of digital citizenship, it's important to understand that filter bubbles can definitely keep us trapped in one point of view and feed us false information. While it's unlikely that kids will subscribe to a local newspaper, it is possible that we can teach them ways to listen to other views and try to find common ground through discussion, rather than division. Instead of tapping to share a headline, students can learn to find each other's humanity beyond differences in beliefs. A good start involves boosting media literacy skills and awareness of how algorithms, filter bubbles, and clickbait affect the news we see. And then it requires active listening and empathy.

Here are specific lessons, lists, and activities to address these skills:

• Try the lesson Challenging Confirmation Bias to reflect on how our brains can be inflexible about certain topics—and the ways that media reinforces this tendency.
• Teens can learn about Filter Bubble Trouble and how it's easy to see only one side of an issue online.
• Discussing Controversial Issues in the Classroom—with clear expectations and guardrails—gives kids a chance to practice active listening and civil conversations, even when they disagree with each other.
• Games That Build Social and Emotional Skills and Emotional Intelligence Apps and Games offer tools to help kids at all levels boost interpersonal skills.
• Podcasts can be a great avenue for active listening, especially if you explicitly discuss active listening skills before playing a podcast.
• A Starting Point or Parlay are tools that either provide a variety of viewpoints about specific topics or help practice healthy discussions. 
• Activity idea: Challenge students to brainstorm some of the qualities that connect us as human beings: We have people we love, we have fears and anxieties, we want to feel like we belong somewhere, etc. Are there ways we can keep those connections in mind, even when we disagree?

Full lesson collections:

• All News & Media Literacy lessons
• All AI Literacy lessons

Digital Footprint & Identity: Share Less Online and Be in the Moment

It's generally accepted to share a lot of one's life online these days, from photos of kids to makeup routines (and much more!). Similarly, it's common to see people recording just about every event possible, which leaves one part of you always in the future, anticipating a cool post or video down the road. But both practices have a cost. One impacts your digital footprint, constantly adding select elements to your online identity (and creating potential privacy and security risks). The other forces us out of being fully present for whatever it is we're trying to preserve.

Here are specific lessons, lists, and activities to address these skills:

• Again, mindfulness apps and sites offer guidance for being in the moment: Challenge kids to practice being present, sitting quietly, and truly staying immersed in what's happening right now.
• This family activity is easily adapted for the classroom and encourages students to think about how their shares and posts affect their online identity. Could they post less?
• Activity idea: Offer students an opportunity to compare what it feels like to simply experience something vs. recording it. Do they notice and remember more? You can also ask how often they revisit videos they've taken of events like concerts or parties. Are there advantages to not recording?

Full lesson collection:

• All Digital Footprint & Identity lessons